Wine worries
by Hermes Salazar Snape
Summary: Dionysus is back! And he creates a LOT of ruckus. Some angry Gods join hands to teach him the side effects of drinking . . . . . Charmes!
1. Chapter 1

_**Note:**_

_**The song about Artemis is entirely the product of my sister's brain.**_

**_Introduction -:_**

**The gods sojourn at the new Mount Olympus, rebuilt at the top of Empire State Building, New York, 55 years ago Lord Zeus has now started a Olympian committee, which has all gods as members. Dionysus is lifted from his ban of being a Camp Director, for a term of 100 years. The Camp immediately became a critical mess. Nymphs and Satyrs in the camp, said that they won't be loyal to Chiron, as he is not a member of the committee. They interrupted the Camp's activities. The camp became more and more worse , due to this interference.**

**Lord Zeus observed this. He decided to take serious action on the nymphs and satyrs. So, he informed the gods that there would be a meeting on next week, Friday.**

**But this story being humorous, begins with our hilarious hero, Dionysus.**

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><p><em><strong>The story - :<strong>_

Apollo was enjoying the Saturday in his room, as a month before, Lord Zeus declared that the "_**Gods must relax during Saturday and Sunday, to avoid strain. And their servants, should carry on the God's work. It is their duty**_**.**" Apollo and Hermes praised and tried to flatter Zeus, after he passed this law. But Zeus didn't budge to their comments.

Apollo was curiously watching _Discovery Channel's_ "**Documentary on Black Holes**" and his mouth gasped open. By the way, he was crunching and dumping the ACT II popcorn. He was interrupted by the thud of the axe. It was from the door; somebody knocked furiously and shouted, "Apollo! It's urgent!".

He was startled; the popcorn got spilled and scattered on the tiled floor. He looked through the eyepiece. It was a man with a huge slime ball hair, tanned skin and in a dusty leopard coat. He confirmed that Dionysus was in a dreamy and abnormal state.

"Why are you here at this time? Something is wrong!" uttered Apollo in a low voice and welcomed Dionysus, with hesitation.

"What do you want?" asked Apollo, controlling his temper and his anger by gritting his teeth.

"I wanna a bottle of wineu! It'll be named red wine whiskey 007u!" he said in a husky voice.

"Are you drunk?" asked Apollo with a frown in his face, knowingly.

"Yes I am. I'm very proud to be drunk! I'm the Wine man! The founder of the justice league!" blabbered Dionysus, exaggerated himself.

"Oh my gods! How can I make him realize that the founder of the justice league is Superman? He doesn't know what my kid knows!" muttered Apollo and went to kitchen.

Apollo's kitchen was fully furnished with varnished rosewood. He had covered his loft with the help of glass. His kitchen was tidy with a microwave oven, a refrigerator and a mixer. His loft consisted of four parts. The first three parts, had been allotted for groceries and junk food and the fourth part was reserved for the big oaf, who would tempt Apollo to give bottles of wine. Apollo took some of those and went to the living room. But he was shocked by seeing Dionysus. He was busy arranging the wine bottles, which was stashed in his stinky and sweaty leopard coat for many days.

"Oh no! Oh no! It's sign of a drinking competition!" moaned tensing Apollo, as he tapped his head.

Usually, Apollo is not the drinking type. But, it doesn't bother him, as he bet 107 times with Dionysus, and still couldn't achieve his goal. But, he successfully achieved some diseases like headache, vomiting and so on. He felt that this habit doesn't suit him.

"Apollo! Apoooollo! Lo! Lo! llllllloooo! Apol! Loooooo! Lo! Lo!" called the sluggard Dionysus in a ugly manner.

It was unbearable for Lord Apollo. His mind got split into two. Positive and negative. A word war started between those two.

_He has spoilt my beautiful name! He is insane. I should kill him, _said the negative.

_Be calm, cool as a cucumber. Anger is the enemy of the man. This is the angel's policy,_ said the positive, calmly.

_Throw your motto into the thrash,_ growled the negative.

Apollo took the decision of the angel mind, and started to act friendly.

"Hey, what?"

"I've changed my mind," said Dionysus, yawning and stretching his hands widely.

"Why?" asked Apollo, staring at Dionysus.

"I think, it's," paused Dionysus.

"I think... What?" questioned Apollo.

"It's better to have a drinking contest." suggested Dionysus.

"Hey, you know that—that—I can't." stammered Apollo.

"Come on!" tempted Dionysus.

"Sorry," replied Apollo, stiff as a machine.

"Okay. Please. Then a sing a melody song for me," pleaded Dionysus.

"All right, you ruined scumbag!" snarled Apollo softly.

Apollo sang a melody song about Artemis.

_"No beautiful amount of lace_

_Can contain the glow about your face_

_It may take hours, even days_

_But still your form I cannot trace._

_Can a lamp hide in the gloom?_

_Will a hyacinth not bloom?_

_You are who you are dear,_

_I'll make sure that you never fear_"

Apollo began sobbing. He sniffed in his Dora hankies. Soon, he came to notice that Dionysus was facing the wall and grunting "Wooha! Waaha! Wooha!"

"Hey! Are you okay?" queried Apollo, patting the wine man's shoulder. Dionysus turned and took a vomit, like a volcanic eruption on Apollo's lyre. "Splash! Splash!" His target was like a bull's eye in the shooting. After vomiting, "Thank Zeus! The phlegm which got struck in my windpipe, came out. Thanks, Apollo. You proved that, you are the master of the medicine! You're a genius!" praised Dionysus, facing the wall. Apollo gazed at his back.

Dionysus turned. He saw Apollo, flushing out of anger and raging as a bull. One can also see steam from Apollo's nose.

"You!" Apollo pointed out his finger.

"What?" asked yawning Dionysus.

"You maniac! Hrr! Hrrr! You spoilt my beautiful lyre, with nasty vomit. Crap! Shit! Why are you starring at me! Get out of my house!" yelled Apollo.

"Then, what about my wine?" asked Dionysus.

"No. Don't try to burst my energy! Get out of my house," Apollo said gritting his teeth and clenching his fists.

"Is he mad? Why he is barking like a dog? I think he must be a dog in his previous life," blabbering Dionysus went away, scratching his head.

"Holy!" sighed Apollo with a relief, after he slammed the door.

"Everybody has this trouble," said one weird voice.

As soon as Apollo heard this voice, he rolled his eyes.

"Who's that?" thought Apollo.

He sensed that voice; coming from bedroom. He sprinted towards the voice. His sharp eyes spotted a shadow on the window. He opened the window.

"Hermes!" exclaimed Apollo in shock.

It was Hermes, standing in the air, with the assistance of his flying shoes.

"Yes, Apollo," replied Hermes.

"Hermes! Hhhuu!" Apollo cried and hugged Hermes. Hermes noticed Apollo's whipped face, so he patted him. Apollo started complaining about the big oaf and he explained his burdens. Hermes nodded his head, and he overrode Apollo.

"He has become very troublesome, these days. The day before yesterday, he wasted Athena's 3 months research project, by taking this same nasty vomit, on 2500 scrolls! And not only that, he created a critical situation in Hera's room, by farting for five days! Hera said that she wouldn't blink at the room at all for 15 days, staying at Lord Zeus's room these days. She feels that some dangerous pollutant is piercing her eyes and it's her best chance to use her witched eyes for spying Lord Zeus," informed Hermes.

Apollo gave ears to his words, and was listening intently. An idea struck like a lightning in Apollo's deep brain.

"I've a plan to take revenge on big tummy man," said Apollo, with a grin in his face. Hermes understood the sign language, he listened eagerly. Apollo whispered in his ears. They came to a conclusion. They both agreed, shaking each other hands.

"We're one in this issue," said Hermes.

"Okay," agreed Apollo.

"Athena, my wife Charisse, you and I will meet at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow at my home. Done?"

"Done," said Apollo, waved his hands to Hermes. Immediately, he took a tub, filled it with water and Harpic solution and immersed the Lyre in it. He saw strings coming out one by one. It created some noises.

"Tweeeeng! Tweeeng!"

"Oh man!" shouted Apollo, with frustration.

**- x – x – x – x – x – x -**

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><p><strong>How was this chapter?<strong>

_**Who do you think must be the new Camp director? **_

**Hermes**

**Apollo **

**Athena**

**Ares**

**Hephastheus**

**Aphrodite**

**Demeter**

**Dionysus again**

**or some Minor god.**

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><p><em><strong>Author's note<strong>_

_**In this story, Zeus wants to select a new Camp director of those options. Please, select one of those. Lord Zeus is waiting for your response. .. . . . .**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm very very sorry readers for updating late. My school reopened. That's the reason. I' ve updated the first chapter too. I thank those who reviewed me. I'm gonna honour those who reviewed me and added my story as a favourite one. It'll be the last chapter.**_

_**Author PurpleRose328 **_**has guest appearance in this chapter (Charisse).**

**Charmes! Please try to read her story **"_A Walk on Manhattan_"**. **

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><p><strong>The second chapter <strong>**- :**

**Mission** **Accomplished**

Apollo rose up from his bed. It was Sunday, 7:30 morning. He folded the sheets and started brushing his teeth.

He put on his tracksuits and shoes and he connected his ears to an I pod, with the aid of the headphones. He sprang outside for a jog .

"Laa! Laa! Gonna fly now!" he sang and imagined himself, as a galloping horse.

He began enjoying the nature: looking at his cows, grazing in his field, the sparrows chirping in the trees, the flowers blooming and emerging amidst the bushes and the butterflies busy in collecting nectars. He jogged for half an hour, he breathed uneasily for few seconds, and returned to his room.

He looked at his schedule.

**8: 30 a.m. - Bathing**

**9: 30 a.m. - Cooking**

**10: 00 a.m. – Breakfast**

**11: 00 a.m. - Shopping**

**1: 00 p.m. - Home**

**2: 00 p.m. - Lunch **

**3: 00 p.m. - Sleep**

**4: 00 p.m. - Hermes home**

He felt that the day's schedule was really tight.

_**At 4: 00 p.m., in Hermes home. . . . . . .**_

Apollo rang the door bell. "Ding! Dong!"

Jane, leader of the Hermes' nymphs opened the door.

"Yes, come in," she welcomed him with a happy face. Apollo stepped on the mat and entered in.

His living room's wall was constructed with granite tiles; it had intricate designs painted in it. He also gave a look at the fine polished and sparkling marble tiles.

"Wow!" exclaimed Apollo, sitting on the sofa.

The immortal daughter of Poseidon arrived in the room. As soon as she saw Apollo, she strode to the kitchen and brought a coffee for him. She was tall and quite chubby, with determined brown eyes and her straight black hair, moved gracefully in the air. Apollo began admiring her and his mouth gaped open.

"Hello, I'm Charisse," she said.

"I haven't seen you, anywhere, in my life time," replied Apollo, the flirt .

"Yeah, I'm the daughter of Poseidon!" she said proudly.

"It sounds good," said Apollo, snapping his fingers.

"Hi, Apollo!" interrupted Hermes joyfully, rescuing her unknowingly.

"Hello, Hermes," answered Apollo, smiling at him.

"Come on Apollo, follow us to the basement, " said Hermes.

Apollo followed Charisse and Hermes. They reached the basement. There was Athena, sitting in the corner, clutching her book tightly with her hands.

"Hey, Athena. What about our research project?" asked Charisse, anxiously.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Apollo, did you bring the wine bottle?"

Apollo nodded his head and gave her the wine bottle. Athena grinned for a second. She had an evil master plan. She removed the wine brand sticker, and pasted **'Liquefier' **in it.

"Hey, the main idea is to mix the dysentery tablet made from elephant's dung," whispered Apollo.

"Yes, who would give that? And how?" questioned Charisse.

"Don't worry, about _that!_" whispered Athena, with an evil grin.

"Okay, let's start our research," said Hermes.

All of them wore scientists's glasses. They covered their bodies with the lab coats, and faces with masks. Athena ordered Apollo, to make concentrations for the tablet. She behaved as a team leader.

"Eta ! Theta! Gamma! Alpha!" blabbered Apollo and scribbled in the paper.

She instructed Charisse to bring the black portion, from the loft. Charisse strolled towards the loft. She saw Jane rushing in a hurry, to the basement. Jane bowed looking at Charisse and began talking hastily, breathing hard "Ma'am. . . . . . Lady . . . . . . Hera, is here. . . . . . .. She wants to see you. . . . . . and Lord Hermes! Ugh! Huff! Puff"

"Okay. Thank you very much, Jane," Charisse and informed Hermes, after giving them the portion.

"Honey, we will do the work. You go and comfort Hera," said Hermes.

Charisse went to the living room. Hera was relaxing in the sofa. Both of them started to chat, after having a hot bowl of sweet corn soup.

"Where is Hermes?"

"He is in the basement."

"What's going on?"

"As you know that, Dionysus is troublesome these days. We had made a plan to take revenge on him. That is, my husband, Apollo and Athena are making a tablet, which would cause dysentery for five days!" told Charisse, bursting out of joy.

"Haaa! Haaa!" Hera laughed heavily.

There was huge shout, which echoed for few minutes.

"Done! Success!" shouted Apollo, Hermes and Athena, in chorus and also their hands were raised up in the air.

"I'm going to tell Hephaestus to activate the spy cams, fixed in and around my room." said Hera and slipped away, as a sneak.

Charisse blinked for seconds and understood. She told Hermes word to word, all that happened.

It became 6: 00 p.m., the sun was about to set. They decided to go and execute their plan.

_**At Zeus room. . . . . . . . . **_

Hera was very happy, as Zeus would be in Hong Kong till Thursday, for a business deal, with _**Hatchiko – Axis chemical factory**_ owner. Hera switched on the monitor, she saw Dionysus spoiling her bedroom, lying in an improper position, with his legs dangling from the bed.

"I'll kill you, Dionysus. I'll stab you to death! " Hera growled. Door bell rang.

"Haaa! Haaah!" laughed the doorbell, like a devil.

It was Hades, his body and cloak was coated with ashes.

"What do you want?" Hera asked bluntly.

"I'm here, to watch the super movie." croaked Hades, with his eyes glinting madly, due to eagerness.

"How do you know?" asked astonished Hera.

"I know everything. I'll be in the right place, at right time," boosted Hades and hoisted himself high up .

Hera invited him inside.

Again the door bell rang. This time, it was Poseidon in a clownish disguise, with a green – colored **Bermuda** shorts, a brown straw hat and **Hawaiian** pink- colored T-shirt.

"Are you half-way, from your Hawaii trip?" asked Hera.

"Yeah! Some girls tried to pursue me, as I was in my previous young man form. I attracted some pretty and handsome, by taking them the photographs. I also busied myself, impressing girls, by expressing my gym body. He! I was glad to watch this... He! He! So, I came surfing all the way, from Hawaii," answered Poseidon shyly.

"How many more people! I'm puzzled! Aaaaa!" said screaming Hera.

"I think, um, um, almost everyone," Poseidon replied.

"Okay then, come inside, " she excused him in, sadly.

The silence lasted for few minutes. After a few minutes, the doorbell rang again. It was Demeter, Ares and Aphrodite, pushing trolley of potato chips. Poseidon pounced madly on the potato chips and took a one vigorously. Poseidon smashed the potato chips fiercely, by grinding with his tooth.

"Mmm! Crispy!" sounded Poseidon.

The crunching sound was irritating others. Meanwhile, Hera smiled at Poseidon.

"Eww! Stinky, Poseidon. Is this the way you eat? Disgusting! Argh!" screeched Aphrodite.

"He eats his way, what bothers you!" bellowed Hera, angrily and glared at Aphrodite.

"Shut up! Grrrrr!" grunted Aphrodite.

Suddenly, Hera starred and charged towards Aphrodite. She leapt over her and they both started to roll like a bowling ball, pushing the trolley and it started moving on it's own.

"Oh no, my chips!" uttered Poseidon and started chasing the trolley.

The trolley was about to fall and crash in the ground. He lost his faith. Suddenly, an epic hero hand gave a firm grip to the trolley. It was Hades.

"Commission! This for me." claimed Hades and picked the biggest chips packet from the big trolley and started stuffing it, in his mouth.

"It's not fair!" bursted Poseidon.

"Come on! Don't be childish!" advised Hades.

**Few Minutes later...**

"You wasted my ten day nail work! Aaah!" shrieked Aphrodite.

"I think we're missing the golden opportunity," said Hera, ignoring Aphrodite.

"Yeah, you're right," realised Aphrodite and came to a peace treaty.

Everybody were huddled together at the living room. All of them got diverted, especially Ares.

He gasped; with his mouth open, by seeing the monitor. Since, it revealed to him that Hermes was the rascal, who adulterated his brandy, with the chemical powder in his last date with Luanda Smith.

"Hermes! I'll inform father Zeus right now!" he exploded.

Hera sprayed silencer scent in his broad - open mouth, and she continued "I think he would silent for three days. There wouldn't be any nuisance and trouble! He won't be able to crack matters, unnecessarily!"

Ares tried to speak, shout and yell at Hera. But, his voice box was offline. So, he started running away, attempting to scream.

"Oh my sweet heart!" said depressed Aphrodite, pursuing him.

Rest of the gods watched the monitor.

_**Coming to the Dinoysus matter.**_

It was Apollo; knocking the door. A nymph wearing a mask opened the door.  
>"Yes, my lord." she said.<p>

Apollo saw some nymphs lying flat on the floor, as they couldn't tolerate the toxic gas excreted in the room.

Apollo insisted the nymph to give that wine.

"As per your order, my lord," she bowed, shut, and bolted the door.

"I feel giddy, I want to sleep," mumbled fainting Charisse. Hermes caught her in his hands, before her head could hit the floor.

"Romantic!" commented Poseidon and started to whistle, in the Zeus' room, wondering at it.

"Who was that?" asked Dinoysus.

"Lord Apollo, presented you a wine bottle," replied the nymph.

He grabbed the bottle with anxiety, unscrewed the cap and started his job, drinking rapidly. Filthy Dinoysus completed his job and gave a big burp. This led him to a huge problem. The problem began with rumbling stomach, which created some tremors and aftershocks, tsunamis in his stomach. And finally, the volcano was about to burst and erupt. Dinoysus waded as walrus towards the toilet. He came out in few minutes and sighed "Thank god!" . And he startled to stagger. He lurched forward and backward and then, he rolled over to the toilet, as a ball. Within ten seconds, Dionysus appeared out of the toilet.

"Oh man! It's paining! I feel somebody tickling in my stomach!" groaned jerking Dionysus , and he went again to toilet.

Forward, backward, forward, backward...

This process lasted for five days.

_**Five days later. . . . . . . . . . **_

On the meeting day, he looked scrawny and steady guy. He stopped the drinking habit for few days, as Ariadne advised. Somehow, he found out that Hermes was the culprit and started dragging him, to his father.

Lord Zeus was back to **Mount** **Olympus**. His chopper landed in the helipad. Lord Zeus kept his golden foot. Hades observed this, from the corridor.

"Hey, bro. How was your business?" asked Hades, with anxiety.

"A total failure. I caused **98 million** **Hong Kong** **dollars** loss!" grumbled Zeus.

"Why?"

"Because, in fit of anger I, um, killed my partner," said Zeus sheepishly.

"Welcome to my world, bro," finished Hades.

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><p><em><strong>How was this chapter?<strong>_

_**Every god has secret characters. You saw some.**_

_**Please give me your views.**_

**Q1.**_**Who do you think must be the new Camp director? **_

_**Candidates -:**_

**Hermes**

**Apollo **

**Athena**

**Ares**

**Hephastheus**

**Aphrodite**

**Hestia**

**Demeter**

**Dionysus again**

**or some Minor god.**

_**Author's note**_

_**In the next chapter, Zeus wants to select a new Camp director of those options. Please, select one of those. Lord Zeus is waiting. .. . . . .**_

_**Q2. Justice must favour whom? **_

_Angry Gods or _

_victim Dionysus_

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

**Lord Zeus wants your suggestion. He is stranded and puzzled. Please help him. Plz.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . **


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